Survey: I'm thinking about opening a new theme park, Homeless World?

The idea is to get a better understanding of what the domicile challenged go through. What kinds of rides and attractions should I have?

Survey: I'm thinking about opening a new theme park, Homeless World?
Jeepers, Papa, I could spend all weekend drawing this out on poster board. I just might.





Admission should be pro-rated, kinda like taxes. That means that people who are wealthier should pay less, and shouldn't have to pay taxes on any purchases they make within. The loss of revenue will be recovered by over-charging the poor, and by heavily taxing the middle class.





I should think there could be a roller coaster-type ride, but it should be in the shape of a city bus, and it should smell kinda funny - like old doughnuts and urine. And the bus will frequently get stuck in "traffic jams" and occasionally even break down. Maybe you could hire a mascot to sit in the back and shout scripture mixed in with commercial slogans. "AND GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THE GIFT OF ENZYTE NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT!"





I'd love to see a ferris wheel sort of thing, but the only thing that makes it go around is a repetitive activity in each booth. Like one would be running a license plate stamp, another would be stitching a straight line down a swatch of denim, another would be pressing a button to inject silicone into an implant, and another would be painting the same pair of eyes on cheap, poly-resin figurines to be sold exclusively through Avon. You kinda get the point, oui? And every time the wheel goes around, a tinny Saltine-box speaker plays Happy Birthday to remind the riders the ferris wheel is much a reflection of their repetitive, endless lives.





You could have a Hall of Mirrors, except instead of mirrors you get to face the hateful glares of upper-class holographs who jeer and shout things like "GET A JOB PARASITE!!" even though you're given a pretend college diploma as your ticket when you enter the hall.





The food concession stands should be like the foodbank. You don't have to pay for anything, but you have to provide a social assistance stub and photo ID and the names and birth certificates for all your children and you don't really get food anyone would actually want to eat.





You get non-perishable foodsthat look like rejected rations from the Bolivian army. I mean really, just what the hell are creamed lima beans anyway????





The bathrooms would be permanently locked and would have signs on them that read: FOR GAINFULLY EMPLOYED, WELL-GROOMED PEOPLE ONLY. Even there was such a person at the park, the bathrooms remained forever locked, only to be used by priviliged staff members.





There should be a Tent City, where homeless people live and reproduce. And there would be the Home Depot mascot chasing after them with a billy club and a Notice to Vacate sign.





All around the park there should be discarded needles, mounds of garbage (especially paper coffee cups), old socks, empty lighters and burnt spoons, but no cigarette butts because people keep picking them up and trying to smoke them.





There wouldn't be any rest areas, but there would be old couches (sans cushions) scattered here and there. There would be a few park benches, but Park Security would taser anyone caught using them.





The best feature of all: Labour Ready. This would be near the administration offices. This offers park goers a chance to actually work at Homeless World and get paid the same day! Of course, no one actually gets to go to work. And Mr. Henckles, the Homeless World Park Mayor, blames the rising Canadian dollar for this.
Reply:You need a replica of the White House there. I'll never forget the first time I saw the WH up close and personal for the first time. I was standing in line and looked across the street over at the park. I was amazed at all the homeless folk staying over there, some with cardboard boxes and such.


I remember thinking, here is this big house with all these rooms in it, most are never used and right across the street, are homeless people with no place to live or be that must sleep on park benches or on the ground in cardboard boxes among the elements and the elite alike living right across the street in that big old WH. What's wrong with this picture?
Reply:did you see the news where a city has gathered all the homeless to hide them? that made me mad. first attraction should be the gathering of the minds. rides would be dumpster diving and the race to see who gets a bath first at the fountains. then the next attraction should be the one who panhandles the most money wins all the pot. this is fun, but i have been there doing just these things.
Reply:-a ride where you drive a car through shanty town. The car will double as the visitors' lodging for the weekend.


-dumpster diving


-"the rat race" -- guests will have to navigate through a reconstruction of a dirty, dark metropolitan/subway area, while being chased by rats
Reply:Some ole tires on ropes up in a big Elm tree. Nice long waterslide, for bathing of course, gotta have the whip to help dry them., ferris wheel for getting aired out well. LMAO
Reply:I only have a couple of race ideas. 1) Race to the 1st (of the month), and 2) Race to the pawn shop.
Reply:Definitely a naked water ride kinda like a car wash shower thing
Reply:Your too late, San Francisco beat you to the punch.





Sorry.
Reply:have roller coasters that make you wet.
Reply:big warsh machine ride washes you and your clothes at the same time .....
Reply:would that include free admission?